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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

一首夜吟醉夢鄉 - Sighing in the Night, Dreaming of Home

廣寒1無心照花香,  The moon did not shine because the flowers are fragrant,

默對蓮塘醉夢鄉.    Silently upon the lotus pond I gaze in drunken stupor, dreaming of home.

枕上葉下2常樂伴,   On the pillow, under the leaves, forever together in bliss,

眼前飛來幾片霜3.   Then a few flakes of frost came fluttering before my very eyes.

1Literally, the "Grand Cold", name of the lunar palace.

2.  It is quite confusing if you don't know traditional culture.  Traditionally, on the pillows, a pair of Mandarin ducks is depicted under some lotus to denote conjugal bliss.  Here the comparison is cast between reality and the imaginary.  The real pond is empty because the plant grows only during summer.

3.  Can mean tears.

Of course, this is the result of many reincarnations spanning over a period of time.  I am not good enough to pen such a poem immediately.  It is the seed of an imagery that after tender loving care has now bloomed.  The original idea was conceived on October 07, 2014.

蟾宮寒意桂花香,  The Toad Palace is cold and the Osmanthus is fragrant,
荷池默對綠紗窗.  The lotus pond gaze silently at the green gauze window.
枕上鴛鴦常樂伴,  On the pillow, the Mandarin ducks are in eternal bliss,
驚破思緒幾片霜   Suddenly my thoughts broken by a few flakes of frost.

The idea and rhyming scheme are there but I find it to be too direct.  Later thinking, I had the last line changed to,

 眼前忽落幾片霜. Suddenly before my eyes, a few flakes of frost floating down.

On 08 Oct, the first line was changed to

廣寒無意見桂香, The moon unintentionally saw the fragrance of the moon.

Something is still amiss and the elegance I sought is not there.  Almost two weeks later on 21 Oct, it was morphed into this form,

廣寒無意照花香   The moon did not shine because the flowers are fragrant,
默對蓮塘醉.  Gazing silently at the lotus pond, in drunken stupor I think of home
枕上葉下常樂伴,  On the pillow, under the leaves, forever together in eternal bliss
眼前飄来幾片霜.   Suddenly, before my eyes, a few frost flakes came wafting by.

Finally on 01 Nov, On the second line, was changed into as I think it is more elegant and on the last line, into because the new character is easier for me to write with a brush. There is no change in tone of this replaced character.

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