The Garden of Good and Evil

 

My backyard garden is a place of tranquility for me. A refuge from the noise of the outside world; an inner sanctum of a peaceful calm I sought. It may be a place for writing poems or reflections on life while sipping a cup of tea. Let not the lull of the place deceive you. It is also a place where plots and counterplots are hatched to neutralize office politics; to find a way how to delicately strangle opponents with silken cords; also to sip a cup of tea under the cool shade of the bamboo forest.


What the place really needs is a table with a zither on it, waiting for its player – preferably me, to strum the strings lambently in thought. I do not need to have the traditional incense burning to complete a classic Chinese scholar setting. You see, this place is also a garden of evening fragrance; perfumed by various jasmines, honeysuckles and daturas. Kin to the brugmansia, these are also known as angel or devil trumpets. Its fragrance is of heavenly delight while its taste is of deadly poison. In right dosages, you will be lifted into paradise; a tad too much, writhing your way to hell. Internet literature describes a journey accompanied by painful convulsions and vomiting. Not a very nice way to die. To die is never nice anyway! Never have I even put a cigarette to my lips, let alone these exotic natural hallucinogens. However, to know your poisons is a good thing.
Today, on this warm and sunny Tuesday afternoon, I am on a more sedate mission (I would indeed be a fool to write about the plots of my office sagas so publicly); sipping my cup of Chinese tea with a Chinese almond cookie or two; mulling over my new love. It had been constantly gnawing at me; caressing me and bending my mind to its will… After lunch, I decided to take the rest of the day off to enjoy the wonderful weather of a “warm” spring in Southern California. Sunshine abounds and gentle breezes rustling the bamboo leaves. What a life!

No one raises an eyebrow in the office. They know my habits well. If they want the diva to give her best, better humour her antics. They know that I will be back in the office late in the night hacking away while they are in deep slumber of a 2am dream. You see, my boss and I are cut from the same cloth! Yes, we understand each other tacitly. He has a wife that he wants to run away from and I am here because my creative mind works best at this unearthly hour. Sometimes, I wonder if my boss and I are sweethearts of the night because we have many “pillow talks”. These talks have far more weight than all the meeting discussions. We need no decorum; just plain honest talk based on hard facts. For all those who are starting on the corporate ladder, my advice is to observe the habits and likes of your bosses. Then worm yourself into their confidence. I learnt this from the Broadway show and movie, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying1.

For those interested, here's a video link to my secret garden, http://vimeo.com/40690456.

My new Love is a week-old poem that slipped into my mind on a sleepless night as I was tossing and turning in bed. I could not sleep; not because of office politics but just a simple case of insomnia.

大雨西來抝柳蔭, Great rains from the west bend the willow shade.

It is a great line begging to be capped2. Finally I came up with,

小亭東立擋馬蹄. The little pavilion stood in the east, stopping all horses’ hooves.

I felt two more lines will make a lovely poem,

金釵步搖已兼收, Golden hairpins and step danglers3 have been put away.
借問蒂下鴛鴦暖. May I dare ask, are the mandarin ducks4 under the leaves warm?

Although the English translation rhetoric is good, I did not like the structure of the last line or its rhyme.

Benben5 suggested the following sentence structure,

蒂下鴛鴦是否暖. Are the mandarin ducks under the leaves warm?

This solves the sentence structure but not the rhyming scheme. It has been bothering me ever since. I wanted closure from this love and move on with my life. I sound so superficial and shallow. Don’t I? I came up various schemes, such as,

蒂下鴛鴦度春宵. Under the leaves, the mandarin ducks spent the night of spring.
蒂下鴛鴦一對儷. Under the leaves, mandarin ducks, a lovers’ pair.

As if to compound my unsolved agony, a new character came barging into my mind unceremoniously resulting in,

橫雨西來抝柳蔭– Slanting west rains came bending the willow shade.

This slight change in my opinion is more elegant as the image is more vivid and suggestive. The first version merely implied that the rains were slanting at a westerly angle. This one is more forceful. Now the second line needs changing in order to satisfy the rules of couplet matching. Friends ask me why I have so much interest for such no-longer-chic and obsolete literary pursuits of the past. Well, I tell them that they are as valid today as in the past. To me, this form of mental exercise keeps me alert and hones my thinking. Software is very much like that. A slight change in code will have a cascading effect. Those who know programming can attest that bug-fixing is a very difficult and tedious task, an art form where with one false move everything goes haywire! Fixing one bug may introduce many more down the line. Worse are the mutual or double bugs. They may have the property of cancelling the erroneous effects of one another! Hence by removing one bug, the effects of the other now manifest itself into full force. Yes, I do reach out for other fields for metaphors and paradigms to my software writing and bug removals. I mainly draw on music and literary techniques because I do not know other areas of knowledge.

The new second line now becomes,

直路東去點山脚 (天綫) The straight road going east, touches the foothills (horizon)
直路東去摧馬蹄 The straight road going east, urges faster horses’ gait.
直路東去闖天機 The straight road going east, crashes the destiny of heaven.

The third line can remain but the last one now has a few variations.

蒂下鴛鴦只一隻 Under the leaves, only one mandarin duck is left.
不怕鴛鴦只一隻 Afraid not that a mandarin duck be alone.
不比天下江山秀 Incomparable to the beauty of the empire.

Still I am not satisfied. I am honest to myself. I know that there are things which I cannot solve. I know when I am licked. If they are not that important, I shall put them aside like old love letters in a box. Perhaps, when the next time, when I peruse them again, I may have Calliope and Erato with me... Anyway, my friend is coming to see me for an afternoon Chinese tea. Anticipating for more gossips!

The Blue Kitty - http://jeffinous.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-cats-bitch-and-tuxedo.html

1.   The 1967 movie version, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJgaaAfhR5I

2. http://www.italki.com/notebook/entry/183238.htm

3. Hairpins with danglers at one end so that when women walk, these pieces sway in elegance with
    each step. Together with the non-danglers, they are a must have for wealthy women in the imperial
   days. Danglers are designed to catch the eyes of the men as they walk and at the same time non-
   danglers are weapons for protecting their virtue either to commit suicide or to fight off would be
   rapists.

4. Mandarin ducks are symbols of love and fidelity.

5. http://www.italki.com/T008229879.htm

Same Thing, Different Packaging

     
As I always say, ideas and concepts are independent from language. Only packaging shows the cultural differences. As an example, advertisements for Asian fragrances accentuate the purity and serenity of nature with blossoms while Western (especially American) ones have images of female sexuality oozing out of every curve and the male’s - out of every muscle! Very different approaches indeed. However, with the power of American consumerism leading the way and the notion that sex sells, such differences are fading away. One just simply cannot argue with profit.

Today, I am not talking about product packaging but of cultural images. A picture is worth more than a thousand words. However, there is no accompanying image for this essay as I cannot draw, paint or illustrate; and so you, my readers will just have to do with your imagination. I had tried to find suitable images on the Internet and hopefully come up with some sort of collage to illustrate my points. I failed. I shall try in words instead.

Take a simple rainy scene. Imagine that rain is falling at angle from left to right, implying that the wind is westerly; a tree or two on the right and perhaps, a distant structure afar in the left. In our minds, each one of us will conjure this scene differently in details. However, within each different cultural group, there will be shared common experience that is considered as the norm. For example, in a western mind, it is quite logical to see a moving cloud with a human face blowing fleecy clouds of rain towards a tree. You won’t find this sort of a thing in a classical Far East depiction. Instead, a grand scene of misty clouds enshrouding in the landscape of mountains and river as the main theme. Tiny windswept willows to suggest movement or with tiny people seeking refuge from the implicit depiction of rain in the background. Western classical art is explicit and places Man and his personification at the center while Far Eastern art places nature in the foreground with details left out for the viewer’s imagination.

Now I shall try illustrate my point further by more poetic forms. An English version may be,

“Zephyr herding fleecy clouds of rain towards the tree”.

Here, Zephyr, also known as Zephyrus, is the personification of the west wind. This line paints of a pastoral setting in spring or early summer because he represents the breezes of these periods. Even a figurative translation of “The gentle west wind blowing rain towards the tree” does not quite fit quite well into a Chinese imagery. It has to be repackaged into something like,

“The westerly rain bends the willow tree”.

This is translated to suit the English mind. The literal translation would be something like, “Great rain from the west bends the willow shade (canopy)”. 大雨西來抝柳蔭. This would be the conclusion for the essay. However, this Chinese line is too good a one to let it pass. Therefore, I would like to issue a challenge to my Chinese readers, if I may, that they complete this couplet. I await eagerly for your responses.

Thursday, April 05, 2012, 5am

《好好的一天》的下文的下文!

     
今日是星期一了. 天要捉弄我. 偏偏被困在辦公室內而外面有萬道陽光歡照,把個南加洲一片大地温暖起來. 而我呢? 只能妬忌地睄睄窗外的情境. 真氣殺我也! 好在今天所有的電腦軟体問題都已經解决了又早已批發給屬下去辦了. 現在放晏1, 為了減肥只叫人買些沙律2回來. 這样才可以避免美食廣塲中所有香噴噴3的誘惑! 乘有停機時間可以揮筆學習寫中文.

人生路上的行人只知來不知去. 富在深山有遠親, 貧居鬧市無人問! 人性就是這樣. 要樂不要哀. 但無哀不知樂從來, 無苦不知甜. 俗語說得好, 馬馴被人騎, 人善被人欺. 權貴千世羨, 窮賤萬人踩. 人的說話可以扭轉乾坤. 是富有就稱為財大氣粗, 非富即為污糟4鬼5!有時總覺得 若我英文不是超良, 誰會來理睬我. 另一方面亦有人指責我夸多斗靡! 我会在乎嗎. 非也. 只有天知地曉. 唯我自明良心懂.

想話6繼續多咆哮一下. 但好可惜呀… 兔仔的食物已經到了!

Today is Monday and Heaven is playing a joke on me. Why it must be in the middle of the week that I am imprisoned in the office while tons of sunshine is shining happily outside with all of Southern California being warmed up. And what of me? All I can do is to peer outside of the window in envy. It’s killing me, Larry1!

Luckily, all this morning’s software problems had been solved and are being assigned to my subordinates to take care of the details. It is now lunchtime. As I am going on a diet, I asked someone to bring back some salad for me. This is the only way I can avoid all those tempting aromas from the food court. Taking this opportunity, I begin this essay.

In this road of life, passer-bys only notice those entering but not the leaving ones. There are always distant relatives when you are rich, even if you live in the remote mountains. When you are poor in the busiest of cities, nary will anyone inquire about you! Human nature is thus - joys to be had but never sorrows. Now, without sorrow whence joy will come from? Without bitterness, sweetness is but unknown. How apt the saying is, “A tame horse will be ridden by people just as the kindred will be bullied. Millions will go goo-goo gaga over the rich and powerful but the destitute will be trodden by the very ones. Still people’s tongues will turn and twist things around. If you are rich, then you are known as the filthy rich. If you have no money then you are the dirty poor! Sometimes, I felt that if my English is not that great, who would notice me? On the other hand, others will accuse that I am a show off. So do I care? No, I don’t. Heaven knows, Earth knows, I know and my conscience knows.

Of course I can continue ranting on but alas, the rabbit food is here.

Here's a more elegant version from Andrew,  http://www.italki.com/T007303362.htm

漫漫人生路，知來不知去。富在深山有遠亲，貧居閙市無人問。趨樂避哀，人性使然。但無哀不知樂何来，無苦不知甜滋味。俗話說的好，馬馴被人騎，人善被人欺。權貴千世羡，窮賤萬人踩。人言可畏，能扭轉乾坤：富有尊蔑為財大氣粗，貧窮貶做污糟鬼！有時總覺得，若非我英文優異，誰又會給予半點理睬？！亦有人指責我夸多斗靡，我在乎嗎，切。良心為証，天知地曉。



天下熙熙，皆为利来。兄台无需介


Monday, March 26, 2012

1. 午飯時間到了. 可以去吃.

2. 沙拉

3. 形容飃搖的香氣

4. 齷齪, 骯髒

5. 不是包括廣東人在內, 他們喜歡稱別人為鬼! 例如美國鬼, 鬼妹, 鬼婆, 鬼仔(白種男兒), 鬼佬 (比較老些的白種男人)

6. 還想

7. Just a play of words from a series of advertisements in California where the owner of a sleeping mattress chain store, Larry, is offering huge discounts while his accountant is screaming, “Larry, you are killing me!” as the punch line.

A Poetic Gem

Duanqunling, http:www.Italki.com/T008309015.htm, wrote this delightful stanza in a private note. It is too wonderful not to share with others. My translation is figurative and trying to capture her essence.


文如涓涓細流疑似女，Your words trickle delicately like a lassie.
氣如排山倒海思似男。Yet its spirit tower over mountains and oceans like those of a man.
樸素迷离不能辨，        So simple and yet so profound.
化作思念留心間。        Turning thoughts of the head into sweetness of the heart.

A literal version would be,

Your essay flows delicately like a girl,
Yet its ambition can rearrange mountains and upturn oceans like that of a man.
Simplicity or wonder – hard to distinguish/separate,
Only for transforming thoughts for the heart.

It would be great if the authoress would give some comments.

Afterword,

This is really funny to the max! Duanqunling just wrote to tell me that she made a mistake. Instead of "樸素迷離", it should be "撲朔迷離"! A Chinese idiom to mean "complicated and confusing." The original meaning is "the difficulty in separating if one is a male or a female".


This comes from the description of rabbits. The male rabbit is more excitable because of its tendency to jump about while the female is serene with its eyes almost narrowed to a slit. (雄兔撲朔, 雌兔迷離). When they run together alongside, it is hard to distinguish the sex of the rabbits. (雙兔傍地走；安能辨我是雄雌). There is another meaning for 撲朔. It means the fluffiness of the hair on the male rabbit's feet. However, I now wonder if the female is not as fluffy! I used to have pet rabbits as a kid but I was never observant with such details. In any case, 朔 "means the new moon". The moon can used poetically for the rabbit and vice versa; such as the "jade rabbit" (玉兔). Ancient Chinese believe that it lives in the moon pounding osmanthus elixir.  There are two other lunar inhabitants, the beautiful fairy Chang-O (嫦娥) and the three legged toad (蟾). An opposite idiom is 一清二楚.


So now the poem becomes,


文如涓涓細流疑似女, Your words trickle delicately like a lassie.
氣如排山倒海思似男. Yet its spirit towers over mountains and oceans like those of a man.
撲朔迷離不能辨,          Difficult it is to know if you are a male or a female,
化作思念留心間.          For turning thoughts of the head into sweetness of the heart.


Duanqunling wrote the poem because she did not know if I was a male or female.  My former photo showing my lowered tilted head to a side hidden in my mass of long hair! I thank her for her compliment.

《好好一天》的下文

Cloudy Hermosa Beach, Los Angeles

  

上文 http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=738113247606980586&postID=3780580642305077006

人算不如天算. 昨日綺夢今朝散. 總想話一早流流就能飛車到海灘, 準備去享受一下温和而無優無慮的清閑. 因此借病為題與公司 請一日假, 打算完成昨日一塲狂想. 誰知一層寒冷的海霧, 竟然把全個南加洲濃罩起來! 蔭天淒淒, 微雨霏霏, 刺骨入心. 奈何奈何.


昨日搖頭擺尾的氣氛就如此一勾雲散. 一場歡喜一塲空. 我的陽光啊! 我的鶼鰈陽光啊! 為何今日偏偏要背棄我? 啀啀聲. 無法子, 唯有死地地上班. 至少可以在辦公室內去偷懶或大作此下文. 當然我的屬下一見到我的出現就愕然起來. 跌落地, 死都要執返一拃沙, 以傲笑相迎, 不須多句, 只用両字, “捉姦!”

Best laid plans always go awry. Yesterday’s dream, today’s tatters! All I wanted was to sped to the beach this morning and prepare myself a day of warmth and relaxation with no care or worry. Hence, I call in sick to let the office know that I will be taking a day off; hoping to realize my yesterday’s grand illusion. Who knew that a cold layer of marine fog would unexpectedly blanket the entire Southern California with tiny drizzles and cloudy cold piercing to my inner core? Alas, alas.

All the ebullience of yesterday was sucked out from me. All for nothing! Oh my sunlight, my beloved sunlight! Why art thou desert me? What can more can I do but in crestfallen mutterings trudging myself back to work. At least, I can skive off in my office or write this afterword essay. Of course, all my underlings were astonished to see my appearance. Even in defeat, I need to smile bravely with four words, “To catch lazy burgers!”

It's A Fine Day

  

In a wisp, time had gone past you. The summer of youth is now but the wintery years. No internal fire to spur you on but imprisoned only by the external heat of a fire log. Where had I been? I remember not. So so long ago. What I could remember is like the whisper of a dream, beckoning you to return to the misty days of once upon a time.

This was how I felt before I was jolted awake and rescued from this evil spell by the song “It’s A Fine Day” by Opus III of the 90s. How many years had passed? Let me count… One, two, three, four … twenty! Wow! Can’t be wrong! I was a recent graduate then, looking for a job to satisfy the requirements of a green card. I am sitting in my office; on the 50th floor as I look through the humungous window before me. This window; my window to the outside world with wide expanse of a far away ocean scene. I could hardly make out the slither of that that beach. Still the radio song is blaring into my ears from my iPod.

The sun is shining warmly through the glass and I longed to be a bird and fly out of this concrete cage; surging through the blue sky and feel the warm wind kissing my face. I feel like leaving everything behind and return to the wild days of my youth. Too bad, the shackles had been cast solid to the ground. No longer can I free myself even if I wanted to. Too many responsibilities on my back and the sirenic comforts are hard to resist. Signs of old age must approaching. “Make hay while the sun shines.” Ha! I have plenty of hay now but where is that wide eyed boy I once knew? I must have left him far behind… Still lost in the woods! However the song is urging me to look for him.

Back to the current question. I know I cannot soar into the blue yonder with my human wings of imagination but surely I can get up from my ass right now; whizzed down into the underground garage; hopped into my open convertible before speeding off to the warm sands of that Pacific Ocean beach. Fat chance. Not at this time. The 4pm Los Angeles Traffic? Nah! Too much frazzle of the mind before reaching the shores after a grueling battle with the freeway jam dragon. Note to myself. Call in sick tomorrow and spend a day at the beach. After all, it’s Friday tomorrow! I can afford that.

Thump, thump goes the pulsating techno beat of the song. It is finally pumping the reheated blood back into my heart. As my body gyrates to its beat, I feel that my youth is returning once more. I am young again. I am superman! Please, please don’t let them come knocking on my door to break this spell. For an hour or so, let me be what I want to be… cocking my head to and fro; my long hair dancing in the air; swaying away my shoulders and my feet kicking under the desk. I type this essay to relive those days once more. Let me go back to my disco days of youth. Let my boodies shake. I want to burst out into a dance! My flight of imagination begins now. It will be at least for another hour or two before the office lights go out that I dare dance my way to my car, iPod securely to my side and earplugs snug in my ears… Pacific Ocean, here I come! Let the weekend begin by partying under the warmth of tomorrow.

Dear readers, you think I’m crazy. Yup. I’m. Need to be once in awhile. Let my hair down, so to speak. Let me behave like the Wild Man of Borneo. Let the endless repeated song of “It’s A Fine Day” be my elixir. Life is precious and short. Can’t be that staid and dowdy Jeff all the time. I’m on my way to find my long lost brother in the woods. Let’s party man! Let me dream and dance my way into the weekend or at least until I am expired from this sudden nova burst of energy.

Youth is awed by the experience of age.
The aged is mesmerized by the innocence of youth.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjIPzyVlK60
http://www.last.fm/music/Opus+III/_/It's+a+Fine+Day

Spacing Between Words Is Important

  
"Everyday" and "every day" or "maybe" and "may be" have slightly different meanings. Other words such as, "heartfelt" is the correct form and "heart felt" is not; so is "cannot" and "can not". These words have no life or death consequence. HOWEVER, some errors in the English language will definitely cause an eyebrow to be raised and may cost your career. Remember Dan Quayle? The former US Vice President who will be remembered in history as the idiot for incorrectly telling a pupil that the word "potato" is spelt with an extra "e"! Such perceptions made him into a buffoon. He will never to amount to any office higher for the rest of his life. He did not become vice president for his good looks or capability. He was just a token office holder so that he would not outshine his boss, the elder President Bush. So for all those aspiring to a high position in the English world, be "wery wery careful" or the English "Wabbit" will haunt you to no end.


Here is a funny example that a Facebook friend sent me. It is because of the perceive lack of spacing between two crucial words that caused a well-intentioned sign to become something of a guffaw/gaffee. Safeway is a major supermarket chain in the US. In the picture below is a sign for a broken automatic checkout machine....

Either the person is a complete idiot in English or he is a master of the language! Whatever the case may be, it fits the situation and earned an immortal position in the annals of the misuse of the English language.

Enjoy!