Monday, October 1, 2018

An Updated Reply To Someone's Poem To Me...


About seven years ago, on 05 Apr 2011, someone wrote a poem to me...

蘭花氣質比天仙 Orchid fragrance better than those of a fairy
天生註定世人賞 Only destined to be enjoyed by others. 
幾度花落紅庭院 How often had the flowers fallen, 
花謝花飛飛滿庭 All over the red1 courtyard, withering in flight.
春風艷色未挽留 No spring wind can bring them back2.

色消香斷奈何天 Alas, colors have faded, fragrance stopped. 
往日風流朱顏改 Merriment days of yore; no longer rosy of now 
紅樓玉壁依然在 Cinnabar buildings and walls of jade still remain. 
低聲嘆氣我自憐 In whispers and sighs in self-pity.
自古紅顏多薄命 From time immemorial, such are the sad lives of pretty maidens.

 My updated reply:

 After many years, two ex-lovers meet.  It describes the scene of this chance
 meeting.  I never like my women characters to be weak and fragile.

一滴珠淚千古恨,  One tear drop, regret of a thousand ages,
揮扇遮隔眼前塵3,With a swish of her fan to shield all that is before her.
秋波隱隱萬世愁.  Her eyes hid a myriad lifetimes of sorrow.
回首摇不顧聞.Turning4 her head, her hairpin danglers5 swayed, caring to hear no more.

1.    In the original poem, there are mention of “red buildings/mansions/towers” and red courtyards.  These are residence of the nobility.  By imperial law of those times, no common people are allowed to have red colored walls.  Special dispensation must be granted by the emperor.  Yellow is reserved for imperial use and therefore no nobility can use that color either.  The rich may adorned their homes with other colors.

2.   Actually the translation should be, “No spring wind can retain their fading beauty.”  I find this is too explicit in English.  In this way, it makes readers have a more vivid imagination.

3.   The red dust means the vulgar world with all its gory comings and goings.

4.    回首, "turning the head back" can also mean "return to whence it came from".

5.   Ancient Chinese women adorned their hair with elaborate hairpins unlike those of today.  The more elaborate ones are like tassels and can hang to their shoulders.  These metallic accoutrements can be used as a weapon either to stab the attacker or to use as means of committing suicide.  These tassels are also known as步搖 literally, “step swayers”.  I prefer to translate them as “step danglers”.  Here’s a photo for easier reference.


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